Today is my 3rd Mother’s Day as a Mom. Last year was my first time having a baby by my side to help me celebrate.

We started the weekend off by moving Noelle to her final resting place. In December 2016, she was placed in a temporary location in a mausoleum until my husband and I figured out the perfect place for her. She was 30 minutes away, which isn’t terribly far but traveling with her sister made that trip a little more difficult.

Now, she is just 15 minutes at most from us and in a beautiful space. The cemetery was just built and she is one of the first to be placed there. My parents actually purchased their spot in the mausoleum a couple years ago, prior to us losing Noelle. They happened to also purchase two other spots directly above them, not knowing at the time what they would be used for but wanting space for their family if they needed it.

My parents offered this to us a while ago however Alex and I wanted to be with Noelle. But after going through many options we knew we weren’t ready to purchase our lot. It is a very morbid thing to have to think about when you still feel you have your whole life ahead of you. We weren’t ready to see our names engraved on a stone.

So we took my parents up on their offer and I am SO happy we did. It feels perfect. It feels right.

Walking into the mausoleum on Thursday morning, seeing her little casket again, took my breath away. I knew we would see it. I knew we would have to bury her all over again but I still wasn’t ready.

It’s so small…. She was so small… she was so fragile. It hurts my heart to think that she suffered at all. I just pray she knows how much we love her still.

Our service for her was beautiful. Just the Deacon, Alex and I. We prayed over Noelle’s casket, we cried and we rejoiced that her body will FINALLY be put to rest. Someday, far from now, my parents will be right under her. She will be surrounded by the ones who love her most.

I started this weekend by reflecting on my first step into Motherhood with my baby girl Noelle. She is a Saint in heaven. She is my guardian angel every day. My love for her is endless and is reflected in my love for her siblings. There is never a day that goes by that I am not thankful for her making me a Mother and teaching me the power of love. I pray she feels it in heaven.

Her stone reads: “The light shines in the darkness and the Darkness has not overcome it.” (John 1:5).

Noelle’s Light will never dwindle.