Noelle's Song

I really thought that maybe after the funeral I may be able to start accepting that you are not here, accepting that you are in heaven. But really I find myself questioning it more. Am I lying to myself? Just trying to make myself feel better that you are up in heaven? If you aren't I don't know how I could get through this, how I could go on. I need you to be in heaven, I need to know I will see you again. And I guess everyone has moments in life when their faith is really t

Noelle's funeral was today. We had a private service and were blessed to have the Deacon who married us less than a year ago preside. It was very, very difficult as you can image, but somewhat peaceful knowing that her body is at rest. There was a lot of anxiety leading up to this day and now I feel that we have a better chance at beginning the healing process. I had ornaments with Noelle's feet made at the hospital and I have one to all of my family members who were there to

So now we begin the journey after Noelle's death, trying to accept that she's not here, searching for answers that we may never get. It has been almost a week... a week tomorrow. Tomorrow will be her funeral. I am dreading it. My Dad asked me last night if it is getting any more tolerable... the answer is no. When I think of what happened I still cannot fully believe it. The first couple nights were horrible, I didn't want to sleep, I was afraid of waking up and living the re