Noelle's Song

My husband went back to work yesterday. It felt so wrong in so many ways. Being that our pregnancy was so complicated, the last couple months he really hasn't been working. I am a nurse in the ICU and so I could not work at all after the complications really started, so I have not worked in two months. I still cannot go back until the end of January/once I have clearance. I am no where near emotionally ready to come back (probably more physically ready than emotionally ready

This day is already turning out to be harder than I anticipated, and I haven't even gotten out of bed yet! Yesterday my husband and I thought we could wrap presents, bake cookies, stay in our robes all day and just be cozy... Well, I made it through one present before feeling like I was having a breakdown. I spent the majority of the day in a ball on the couch in tears.... the robe part did happen though! We will never be wrapping presents for Noelle. She will never be here t

People keep asking me how I am doing, referring to both my physical and emotional well being. It has now been one week after the death of our little girl and a c-section. I honestly don't really think about the pain or the recovery much, which I know I should. I only really think about it when it effects my emotional health. Sometimes, most times, when the site is really painful, I have one of two thoughts. I don't want the pain to ever go away because it reminds me of my bab