Christmas without my baby

This day is already turning out to be harder than I anticipated, and I haven't even gotten out of bed yet! Yesterday my husband and I thought we could wrap presents, bake cookies, stay in our robes all day and just be cozy... Well, I made it through one present before feeling like I was having a breakdown. I spent the majority of the day in a ball on the couch in tears.... the robe part did happen though! We will never be wrapping presents for Noelle. She will never be here t

The First Days of Grief, Initial Ways to Cope.

So now we begin the journey after Noelle's death, trying to accept that she's not here, searching for answers that we may never get. It has been almost a week... a week tomorrow. Tomorrow will be her funeral. I am dreading it. My Dad asked me last night if it is getting any more tolerable... the answer is no. When I think of what happened I still cannot fully believe it. The first couple nights were horrible, I didn't want to sleep, I was afraid of waking up and living the re

Her Journey in the Womb- from Conception to Death

I want to start off by telling our story, the ups and downs of our pregnancy with our beautiful first born, Noelle Philomena who was born and passed 12/13/16. I was told that we would have a difficult time conceiving, as I only get my period every 3 months or so. My husband and I decided to throw caution to the wind and see what happens (assuming it would take some time). Well, it only took one try-we were blessed with her as soon as we were ready. As with every child, we kno